Something that I’ve endured but never really spoke on but want to now because this is by far the best I’ve been or felt in my adult life & praying that it will continue and I know someone else may be dealing and just to let them know better days are coming
Depression is a very strong word and feeling your completely disconnected from your normal you let yourself go and you just let grief consume you well that was my experience. I ddnt want to eat I barely slept and was just existing. When I had Ameii child that sent my depression to the extreme. Of course I took care of her but I know I ddnt bond with her as a newborn the same way I did with my oldest. Some days she’d cry and I’d zone out and not hear her or after feeding and changing her there really was no cuddling or cooing. Any and everything mad me cry or upset I lost hell of weight and I really use to beat myself up about where I was in life. I was just in such a dark space and miserable and really ddnt acknowledge it or know why. I was embarrassed to share my hurt with anyone. I can now speak and say yes I had suicidal thoughts plenty of days and nights but am so thankful in my adulthood I did not act on them. Depression was with me in my younger years but again I just thought what I was feeling was normal. Finally I told my Gyn at a check up Pamela Schultz in Oakhurst Yall she is absolutely amazing. And she prescribed my meds that I was embarrassed to take then finally broke down and took them and started looking into therapy.
4 years later let me tell y’all something therapy is truly truly healing and helpful I’m a work in progress everyday but I’m here to say you can easily be consumed in your depression but you have to fight to get better you have to want to be better
Everytime I look at my babies I’m grateful for getting help because my depression could have easily spilled over on them. I can’t teach them to hold their head high and be great if I’m not..... So all of this to say mental health is extremely important and getting help is never anything to be embarrassed about.